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q and a too

updated: 02.15.20
some questions are just weird. if you have as much time to waste as we do, read them.
read the more real questions we receive

(our responses follow.)

02.15.20, Elegiac Garbage, In your opinion, what should a person do with a toothache that interferes with him in everything, in a world where toothache is not treated and teeth can't be removed? (we recommend you find couples coming out of a bar after midnight. pick one with a big dude and insult his woman. he will assist you in the removal of your teeth.)

05.03.18, Jerry H., facebook, Heard there was a boy it caught 200 lb shark on light line he's 21 yrs old can anybody confirm that
05.04.18, Jerry H., facebook, Anybody there (unless the boy jumped off the bridge with his shark, there would be no need in reporting it.)

08.30.07, sharon e., duncanville, TX, United States, where can i find a list of jumpers from the coronado bridge in the 80's? first names only is ok. (so what part of "skyway bridge" don't you understand?)

02.05.06, Slish, Vancouver BC., I once heard about a real or spoof advert that claimed that folks who jumped wearing a particular brand of jeans stayed 'together', rather than ripping apart on impact. or something like that. I think it was Levi's. Know of anything like that? ('Jumper Jeans' brand are guaranteed to not rip you apart upon impact or your money back. visit, mention, and shipping is free!)

03.14.05, Dean, Sarasota, Is there a site like this for Dead Beat Parents? (yes, and you are on page one.)

02.15.05, why do we fall whenever we jump? (here on earth, we have this powerful force called 'gravity'. it's not just a good idea, it's the law. what do you have on your planet? sucker feet? sticky ground? velcro shoes?)

04.20.04, stephanie w., macon, ga., if a rock were dripped from the royal gorge bridge near canon city, colorodo how long would it take to reach the water? (rocks do not drip from bridges. well, maybe in georgia they do.)

03.07.04, kathy c., clearwater, fl., What is the only way it can effectively work? Is there a way to jump vs dive? If one ties something on to his/herself will it be more apt to sink? Please post. (we do know the secret to a 100% successful skyway suicide and it does not involve hitting water. in our world, a 'jump' is using the feet first position. a 'dive' would be the head first method. we imagine they both have the same result, more or less. one would be more apt to sink by duct taping a heavy sinkable to themselves as opposed to a styrofoam cooler.)

01.14.04, kathleen d., nova scotia, what is a suspension bridge? our answer is a natural bridge like no other. (our answer is a bridge that won't tell you whether you will make it across or not. get it, 'suspension' bridge? held in suspense? we crack us up.)

06.15.03, Keethana, there are soo many sri lankan perple who often commit suicide why don't u have any thing bout that? (when the sri lankan perple start flinging themselves off the skyway, we will definitely report about them.)

04.08.03, Sarah, Mililani, Hawaii, how did the water wheel affect the society? (depends on which society you refer to. some thought it keen, others shunned it. one in africa has yet to hear about it. most societies are modernized and have replaced the water wheel with a smartphone.)

jason j., alberta, canada, is it true that all jumpers remove their prescription glasses prior to jumping? if so, where is this info on the internet in-order-to further my research. (yes, every vision impaired jumper in the history of jumpers, have carefully removed their glasses and gently set them in the special eyeglass holders placed every 10 feet along the bridge's edge. maybe they take them off so they don't lose them in the water.)

There was a man named Dennis. He was greek orthodox and having sexual idenity problems. Depresses after a man he wanted to marry...married a women.....he drove to the SF Golden Gate Bridge got out of his car.....and leaning over the bridge he shot himself in the head. He was approximently around 25-27 years old. I am not sure if he died in 1970 or 1971. Does anyone out there know anything more...or did you know him? (you're kidding, right? back in 1970-71, we weren't paying attention to bridge jumpers. we were too busy being idiot high schoolers, trying to get laid.)
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